And that means all of you who made it here! This is the Christmas letter
that I sent out the year that I went to Medjugorje. There's more to the
story, that I'm now finally up to adding, complete with photo links, into
the original letter. Yes, all those little photos that you see ~ link to
larger pictures and multi-photo slideshows, and most often, there's quite
a bit more of the story told along with the full sized photos. So, please
click on the little color photos on this page. Thank you.
It
was a couple of months after my father died that my mother got the idea
of sending me me to Medjugorje in Bosnia, Croatia. From almost day one
of my conversion back to being a practicing Catholic, I had a very strong
desire to go to Medjugorje, and after a wait of about three years, in October
1995 I was finally able to go because my mother offered to send me on this
trip as a gift. My gift to you this Christmas is a picture of "Our
Lady, Queen of Peace" from Medjugorje. This picture was blessed
both by Our Lady, during an Apparition, and also by a very special Priest.
I hope that you will treasure it as much as Our Lady treasures you. I know
that the length of my story is long, but there is much to tell. Perhaps
one of you will be inspired to go visit the village that was formed by
Our Lady's hands. God bless!
Medjugorje
October 26 - November 6, 1995
And the Apparitions Are Still Happening to the Present Day
Medjugorje is a place where Mary, the Mother of God, has been appearing
daily to six young adults since June 24, 1981. She has been giving them
messages of Peace for the world and for each one of us. Through Mirjana,
Our Lady calls all people of good will to join Her in prayer. She has also
told them that she would entrust 10 Secrets to them. The first two secrets
will be warnings and proof that Our Lady was appearing in Medjugorje. The
third will be a visible sign left in Medjugorje that we will be able to
photograph but not touch. It will be a permanent sign, one that man will
not be able to remove or destroy. As each visionary receives all 10 Secrets,
Our Lady no longer appears to them on a daily basis. At the date of this
writing three of the visionaries, Mirjana, Ivanka, and Jakov have received
all 10 Secrets and no longer see The Blessed Mother each day. Ivanka sees
her each year on the Anniversary date of the Apparitions. Jakov too sees
her only once a year on Christmas Day, and since 1990, Mirjana now sees
Our Lady once a month on the 2nd of each month. Vicka, Marija, and Ivan
still have only received 9 Secrets and continue to see Our Lady daily.
I went to Medjugorje 
with
a group of 47 people on pilgrimage with Helen
Zec, who is Croatian, and has made many pilgrimages to Medjugorje in
the past. My trip was lovely and blessed from the moment it began. Medjugorje,
and the surrounding area, is truly beautiful. 
This
village is a small farming community and the fields are worked by hand.
They also have cows for milk and some of the villagers tend sheep, goats
and pigs. Daily I was blessed with a walk through fields and woods to get
to Saint James Church for Mass. The village was surrounded by a peaceful
silence which would give way to joyful song in honor of Mary and in praise
of God. You could hear the Rosary being recited in various languages everywhere.
Mixed in with this was the sound of roosters crowing, birds singing and
the various sounds that all the farm animals make. Everywhere was the sound
of laughter and singing and words of kindness were spoken by all.
I
stayed at the home of Jelka Dragicevic who is a cousin of Ivan "Visionary"
Dragicevic. Jelka lives with her mother and father and lost her husband
in the war. She has a 3 and a half year old daughter named Slavka. I got
to know the family fairly well because both they and I smoke. For once
smoking turned out to be good! I did a few things with Jelka, including
visiting the Cemetery where her husband is buried.
The story of St. James Church began in 1897, soon after 
Medjugorje
became an independent parish, with the construction of a small place of
worship. Not only small, but also built on sinking, quake prone earth.
The building soon began to crack and its tower came to lean more than Pisa's.
A new, larger church ~ the one that still stands today ~ was designed right
after World War I, yet various delays kept the foundation from being laid
until 1936. Construction did not begin until 1940 though, and World War
II, and Yugoslavia's civil strife prevented anything more from being done
on the church until 1966. Even though the interior was not quite finished,
St. James was finally blessed January 19, 1969. Interestingly enough, this
church was much larger than was needed at the time ~ all that changed,
however, on June 24, 1981.
By the time I went there in 1995, the visionaries, when in Medjugorje,
had long 
been
receiving their daily apparitions in one of the rooms in the Parish house
of St. James Church, but in the early days of the apparitions, Our Lady
met with them on Mt. Podbrdo, when they were able to get there; in their
homes; wherever they happened to be, even in an abandoned farm house, because
the Communist government used both the police and soldiers to try to stop
the apparitions from happening. The Blue Cross, near the base of
Mt. Podbrdo, better known as Apparition Hill, marks the spot where the
visionaries hid many times for their apparition with Our Lady. It is a
nice, quiet, peaceful place for prayer. And we also saw the abandoned farmhouse
near their homes, which they ran to in order to escape being chased by
the police, but we did not go inside.
The events of Medjugorje continued much in this manner until January
15, 1982 when they were finally allowed to have their daily apparition
with "Gospa" in a closed off area of the Parish church. It happened in
this way: One Sunday, Father Jozo, the pastor of St. James Church, was
alone in the church praying. While in prayer, he heard an actual voice
say, "Go outside and protect the children!"
He
opened the door of the church and the six visionaries were running toward
him, trying to escape from the Communist police who had been brought in
by the government to put a stop to the events. Fearful and crying, they
asked him for his protection. He took them to the parish house and hid
them. The armed police, in pursuit of the children, asked Father Jozo,
"Did you see the children?" He answered, "Yes, I saw them" but, instead
of stopping to question him further, the police continued running past.
A short while later, the Blessed Mother came to the children, reassured
them with her motherly love, and prayed with them in the parish house.
The pastor's experience was a decisive turning point from skeptic to ardent
defender. For this he was later put on trial and convicted of fostering
a rebellion. He was imprisoned for a year and a half and tortured. To this
day, he remains a faithful witness to Our Lady's messages.
Because of the prohibitions of the Diocesan Bishop however, from April
1985 onwards, arrangements were made by the Priests of St. James Parish
for a room in the 
Parish
house to be used during the visionaries ecstasy. The central event of every
day in Medjugorje, takes place at St. James Church. The Rosary begins
at 5:00pm, stopping for silence during the apparition at 5:40pm and leading
into the Croatian Mass at 6:00pm. This is a powerful Mass, even for
pilgrims who speak no Croatian. The abundance of priests, from all over
the world, makes possible Masses in English, German, French, Italian, and
other languages throughout the day. And so, by the time I went to Medjugorje
in 1995, the daily routine was to attend Mass twice daily ~ at night when
Our Lady appears to the visionaries, and also during the day at 11:00am,
for the English language Mass.
And it wasn't only during the Apparitions in the evening that being
around St. James Church was special. Oh no ~ I have some very special memories
of other things centered around St. James. 
Our
11:00 Mass being delayed for about 20 minutes for a Wedding is something
I've not forgotten. Toasting the newlyweds and learning of the Croatian
Presidential Election is a memory that has stayed with me always. Confession
with Father Philip Pavich is one of the most special things that I experienced
in Medjugorje. And being given broken Rosary beads after the evening
services is something I still think about. And in going through my photo
album to scan in these pictures ~ I was delighted to discover a photo of
being part of the Choir on All Souls Day. That photo, thoughts of
my dad, and the things I wrote about my love of singing, even back then,
makes me feel that my father and Mary, my true Heavenly Mother are very
much with me now.
While in Medjugorje I may have seen a small scale version of 
the
"Miracle of the Sun." My friend saw the sun spinning. I did not.
I only saw a disk covering the sun, shielding our eyes from it, and rays
of all the colors of the rainbow coming from the sun behind the disk. Violet
was the color that I saw the most. Purple is the color of Royalty and also
the last color of the spectrum. Perhaps meaning can be taken from this. 
The
other visible Miracle occurred the second night that I was in Medjugorje.
On the way home from the Evening Services at St. James Church, all four
of us walking through the fields saw the Cement Cross on top of Mount
Krivevac "Lit Up" from within with a great light. This Cross
is cement and can not be luminous. I know of two miraculous events that
occurred in Medjugorje that I did not see ~ on October 28, 1981, a fire
erupted on the site of the first apparition
and burned for about fifteen minutes. Several hundred people saw this fire,
and yet when it was investigated, nothing was burned. None of the visionaries
saw this fire. During the apparition that evening, however, Our Lady asked
if they had see the fire, and when they replied that they hadn't, she said,
"This
is one of the heralds of the great sign." Another sign seen in Medjugorje,
on August 6, 1981 many people saw the word "MIR" in the sky
between Mount Krivevac and Podbrdo hill, written in bright golden letters
~ this word means "peace" in Croatian. Many signs and wonders in Medjugorje,
but the greatest of these is the sign of grace, of hearts turning back
to God.
As pilgrims we climbed Mt. Podbrdo,
which
is usually referred to as Apparition Hill. 
This
is the hillside that Our Lady first appeared to the visionaries on. What
a perfect day for a hike! The air was cool and crisp yet sweetened with
the warmth of the sun. The path up and down the hill is lined with stone
carving of all the 15 Mysteries of the Rosary ~ Joyful, Sorrowful and Glorious.
There's now 20 Mysteries to the Rosary, for John Paul added the Luminous
Mysteries to this prayer ~ I wonder if the same artist made additional
carvings to depict these Mysteries too. I'm so hoping and praying that
one day I'll go back there and see... Anyway, we said the Rosary while
climbing and descending the hill and was a really beautiful experience.
The 5th Sorrowful Mystery, The Crucifixion, really came alive for me as
I knelt to give thanks for what Jesus had done for me and for all.
We also met with two of the visionaries, 
Vicka
"Visionary" Ivankovic and Jacov "Visionary" Colo. 
I
listened to Vicka speak three times in all when I was in Medjugorje.
The first two times that I saw her, I was by myself ~ I had gotten a little
bit lost from the group; I was forever daydreaming and wandering off on
my own, and then I'd meet up with everyone at the 11:00 English language
Mass, or wherever. Mary must have known that I'd need those extra times
so that what She had to say would really sink in! And, you know, I still
don't live the Messages the way I ought... Vicka is really beautiful and
is perhaps my favorite visionary. She accepts notes and petitions addressed
to Our Lady, and presents them to her during the daily Apparition. I gave
her many petitions of my own for all the people that I know. Vicka is not
married and... I just read on the Medjugorje web that she seems to be no
longer considering the religious life... At the moment, she has much work
to do in assisting pilgrims on the path to holiness, and living the Messages
herself.
What I remember most about Jacov "Visionary" was how he spoke
of Heaven. 
He
said that it is a very beautiful place. The people that he saw were all
around the same age, 33 years old. All were very happy. He said that he
can not think of Heaven too much, because he would die of loneliness, but
that he longed to return. He also had a vision of Purgatory and of Hell.
Our Lady showed all the visionaries these places ~ and apologized to them
for showing them Hell ~ but She told them that She did this so that they
could tell everyone that, "Yes, these places do exist."
We also made the climb of Mt. Krivevac. 
Along
the way we prayed the "Stations of the Cross." As this was
a very rocky and difficult climb, I thought "The Stations" were very fitting.
The Cross at the top of this mountain was built in 1933, and I was
surprised to find out that it was built primarily by the women and children
of Medjugorje. It is about 28 feet tall and made of solid cement! Almost
unbelievable what the people of this area are able to do... Making this
climb was the beginning of truly astounding events for my soul... Jesus
used a bad fall that I had when climbing Mt. Krivevac to reassure me of
His tender safekeeping... Yes, this fall was referred to by Jesus, the
next day, when He spoke to me.
Almost every day of being in Medjugorje was pure unbridled joy ~ I bounced
around the countryside singing, talking to everyone I met, petting the
farm animals, taking photos... Every day except for this one... 
I
woke up with a backache that was unbelievable... I could hardly stand,
much less walk ~ yet I was determined to climb Mt. Krivevac ~ even
if a back brace was needed to do it. And I spent a lot of time up on Cross
Mountain ~ I was there long after my group had already gone back down for
dinner... and if it wasn't for the kindness of someone I didn't even know,
who carried me down over the part where I couldn't walk ~ I might have
spent the night on the mountain top. Come, click on the little picture
of the Cross on the left and read the full story... But, in the
meanwhile, know that by the next day, after Mass ~ my back no longer hurt
me in the least ~ and I was back to happily bouncing around Medjugorje
with a joyful song bursting forth from my heart.
Next we visited Mostar. 
From
a distance it appeared to be a beautiful city. It was only upon entering
the city that we could see the devastation that the recent war brought.
Many buildings and homes were nothing but collapsed ruins. The ones that
were standing and in good repair had bullet holes in the walls. We saw
Saints
Peter & Paul Church that was bombed. This beautiful church was
in the process of being rebuilt when I was there, and this time, it was
being enlarged. Such hope the people have!
While in Mostar we visited two hospitals. 
Both
hospitals were bombed in the war, and I saw a line of ambulances that
were in utter ruin. The patients there are very well cared for by a truly
joyful and energetic hospital staff.
Franciscan Sisters run these
hospitals and we visited their Mother House in the city. They were
quick to offer us refreshments ~ cakes that they had made that morning.
They shared joyful stories about their lives. Peace and Joy, especially
in the midst of all this devastation, for yes, the Sisters do have a generous
helping of both these gifts, can only be a grace from God. Helen Zec, our
tour guide from the United States, told us about how hard they worked helping
the injured during the most intense period of the war. She spoke of how
they would go for days without sleep; that, instead of sleeping for hours,
that they would spend an hour or so in Eucharistic Adoration ~ they got
their strength to keep on working, helping the injured, from visits to
the Blessed Sacrament.
We also took a tour to the Shrine
of Siroki Brijeg. 
Father
Jozo Zovko is the pastor of Our Lady's Assumption Church at the Shrine.
He is the priest who was portrayed in the movie "GOSPA."
Father Jozo is also touring the world, visiting Churches, spreading the
Messages of Our Lady. During his talk I went to the building which housed
the "International Godparenthood of Bosna-Herceg Child" 
to
see if they could arrange a meeting with my Godchild
Matilda.
While I was there they called her home. I was extremely pleased to find
that she could speak English! It is because she wants to be a translator
when she gets out of school. English just happens to be the foreign language
that she likes speaking best. We talked and laughed on the phone for about
10 minutes and agreed to meet on Friday. She picked Friday because she
forgot how to say Thursday in English! She told me that she would meet
me outside of Saint James Church on Friday morning and that she would be
with her mother.
When I met them they invited me to spend the night with them at their
apartment in Mostar. 
Matilda's
family once owned a farmhouse on the other side of the Neretva River. Not
only was their farm destroyed by bombs, their land is in Moslem occupied
territory and they had to leave. they were given this apartment in Mostar
because her father was killed in the war in Bosnia. While there I also
met her two brothers and sister and her niece and nephew. Her mother was
quick to bring out food, and of course, the standard bottle of Pepsi. We
had a really wonderful time touring the streets of Mostar that evening.
Matilda took me to the Croatian Arts and Cultural Building which
was closed for the evening. She went inside and spoke to the custodian. 
He
opened up the building for us and took us to the Art Gallery. Displayed
there was the heart of Croatian artists and it was really beautiful and
inspiring work. Each piece spoke of the sorrow of war, their desire for
real freedom, and the joy and hope that the people have for peace. But
once again outside, I could not help noticing all the damage to the buildings
that the war had brought. The city of Mostar is divided by the river Neretva
which is now the "Border" or "Front Line" between the Moslems and
Croatian troops. We were not allowed near this river; we had to stay two
blocks from it for safety. Nor did we stay out late at night.
When we returned to Matilda's home 
she
called up two of her friends and they came to her home to meet me.
We got to fooling around quite a bit because Matilda's mother brought out
Brandy and our glasses were never empty! And yes, we continued to tease
Matilda's brother about being a cop, and it got worse with each shot, poor
guy! I finally figured out to just let my glass sit, and not drink it,
otherwise it would just get filled right up again... As night drew on we
could hear more and more shooting in the distance. Milka, Matilda's mother
told me not to worry. Stealing a glance at Matilda, I told her that I wasn't,
that sometimes I could hear gun shots at my home in Vegas. Later on, as
the sound of heavy artillery and mortar shelling grew more intense, I realized
just how different this was, that we were truly in a war zone.
In sharp contrast to the beautiful peace of Medjugorje, 
and
even the fairly secure city life of Mostar, was a side trip that some of
us took to Glamoch. While in Medjugorje Helen mentioned to the Franciscan
Brothers and Sisters that we had brought aid for refugees and war victims.
In all we had about 40 boxes. She asked them to direct us to those most
in need. We were told about a small town in Bosnia, a refugee village,
which was in dire need of food and warm clothes. Thirty-three from our
group set out for this town, Glamoch, which is nestled in the mountains
of Bosnia.
Four hundred families lived in Glamoch before enemy forces occupied
their town. They were all forced to leave. Their homes, school and
church were destroyed. 
Their
pastor, Father Zvonimir, was taken captive and held prisoner for 2 and
a half years. The area was liberated in late August, just a couple
of months before our trip there. Father Zvonimir, and about 200 families,
returned to find little beyond rubble. Since this town is now considered
a "safe haven," several hundred refugees from other areas are living in
the best shelter in the town, 
a
horribly bombed out school building. We purchased $7,000 worth of food
and took the humanitarian aid we had brought from America. Though it was
only early November, there was snow in the fields and it was very cold.
Now I could really appreciate the blankets that the Four Queens donated!
I was also very happy that my father's winter jacket was in one of the
boxes ~ I'm sure that he's pleased too! As the bus pulled into Glamoch
we could see villagers with wheelbarrows waiting for food distribution
that was promised to them. It was amazing to see the people's joy when
they had received the gift of a few apples. I guess that they had not had
fresh fruit in a while. Erin, a nine year old girl in our
group, gave her Barbie doll to a little girl in the village. Others
gave away their gloves, scarves, sweat shirts ~ whatever they figured they
could do without until they got back home. This was a very sobering part
of our trip.
Our last day in 
Medjugorje
was spent at two very special places. In the morning we visited a new "Boys
Home" type drug rehabilitation center that seemed to me to be just
a really great place to live... And you know, I got to thinking as I was
inserting photos into this part of the page that I wonder if the home is
open now to more teens than those who need to quit drug use ~ for it seems
to me that there's a greater need to be filled for our children ~ that
there has been a void in family life now for way too many years ~ the hurt
is reaching new generations now... And what better place to start the healing
than in Medjugorje.
Then in the afternoon we went to "The Oasis of Peace," which
is a newly formed Community of Religious. They built a beautiful stone
24 hour Adoration Chapel in the middle of the woods. 
For
me, the two most notable stained glass windows depict "Mary and Joseph
with the Child Jesus" and "St. Michael, the Archangel." Other windows have
a stained glass border and clear glass in the middle so that the beauty
of the leaves in Autumn could be seen. It is a very peaceful area where
only the singing of birds can be heard. Perhaps my favorite spot in all
of Medjugorje is the "Oasis of Peace." The Brothers and Sisters of the
Community left a deep impression on me, as well as Jesus in the Eucharist.
It was here, during Eucharistic Adoration, that I experienced the
deepest union with Jesus and His Divine Love. I will always remember staying
after Mass and joining with the Community in prayer. And afterwards I spent
the day there in quiet reflection, both on all the events of my trip, and
also on my strong desire to return. My prayer now is that I will be
going back someday soon ~ and this time, I so very much hope to be bringing
along a very special friend... and maybe even a very special Priest...
but shhhh don't tell him how much I want him for him to go there...
May God bless you and all who are dear to you,
Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Susan
